DIARY

Notes about any interesting things that have happened during the course of my day or my general thoughts on random topics.

How People Used to Measure Time

02/02/2015

Sometimes I think about things that don’t really need thinking about, but I enjoy thinking about them anyway. Often times I tell my ponderings to Mike and we will share a lengthy conversation making it even more ridiculous. I had one such conversation with him a while back, but when I reminded him this evening…

Clever Revenge

16/09/2014

I came across something the other day that got me thinking. On Facebook, someone’s status said “Finally admitting it… i’m gay”. Now, this person had obviously been hacked. They call it ‘fraped’, which I believe stands for ‘Facebook raped’, but that makes no sense to me, because they have been in no way sexually violated.…

The Dream Machine

11/08/2014

Last night I had a really nice dream where I was in Wales on holiday. Yeah, even in my dreams I can’t afford to leave the UK. In the dream I also made friends with a Welsh girl who worked on a stall next to a stall that sold honey. Then near the end of…

ben in austria

Ben in Austria (with Photos)

20/07/2014

Flight went well, apart from mother having a panic attack when getting on the plane. I’m sure she just does it for attention. As we were landing, I noticed a big Ikea outside. I thought we’d taken a wrong turn and ended up in Sweden! When we got to the airport, it was pretty deserted.…

qe hospital birmingham

MRI’m Bored

03/07/2014

Had my MRI and found out what I have. Claustrophobia. Not really, that was just a joke (only just). Before I went in, I had to fill a form in. I didn’t know all the answers, so I was reading it out and asking mother. One of the questions I asked her about was “Have…

A Good Day for Anecdotes

04/06/2014

Today has been one of those days where it feels like I’m living in a sitcom. So let’s start from the beginning. On my way to work, I suddenly remembered I hadn’t picked my keys up and Mak wasn’t due in the office until 10am. It was, at this point, 9am. This happened to me…

At The Dentist

12/05/2014

^^^ They’re my teeth ^^^ So today I had to go to the dentist to have some fillings. I chose cheese and beans. Okay, that’s it now, no more bad jokes. Contrary to popular tradition, I like going to the dentist, as there’s often chance for some good laughs, and today was no exception. I got…

Half a Jingle

09/05/2014

On the way to work this morning, I was picked up by one of my favourite taxi drivers. He’s a nice bloke and we have a chat and a laugh. This morning he came up with half a jingle. We were talking about barbecues and then it went silent for a bit, and then he…

Straight From the Breast

04/05/2014

Starbucks. A nice place to go for something hot over the counter. I went to Starbucks today with my friend (Goodwin) and we were served by someone quite weird. And coming from me, that’s pretty dangerous. Here’s how it went: We walked in and went up to the counter, where a girl called Jesse was…

cubicle chaos

Cubicle Chaos

01/05/2014

The following is a true account of something that is true and actually happened. Unlike all those other times when I said it was a true story, this is actually a true story. I was in the toilet and I went inside a cubicle because I needed to sit down and people look at you…

On Strip Monopoly

16/10/2013

Whilst playing Monopoly last night, I thought “I wonder if there’s such a thing as strip Monopoly. And if there is, how would it work?” I imagine instead of losing money, you’d lose clothes, but that would mean that instead of gaining money you gained other people’s clothes, so in the end it’d be a…

On Birthdays

27/08/2013

Presents. That’s all anyone really cares about on their birthday isn’t it. I’m not really bothered about presents, but it’s still interesting to think about them. Cos when you get older these presents change to accommodate your new found style and maturity. Except I don’t have any maturity. I still love toys! Last year I…

On Dog Training

08/07/2013

The first big problem with getting a dog is that owners give their dogs odd names. Sometimes they are human names like George or Gladys, or sometimes they are just random names like Nugget or Mouse (these are all names of dogs I know). But what they don’t think about when naming their dog is…

On Shampoo

08/05/2013

Question. Have you ever read the back of a shampoo bottle? Well I have. I like to think that if somebody asked me if I read in the bath I could proudly say yes. Although, if anybody ever did ask me “Have you ever read in the bath?” my reply would undoubtedly be “No, who’s…

On Cluedo

08/05/2013

And now i’d like to take a brief moment, if I may, to talk to you about Cluedo. If you don’t know – and you really should – Cluedo is a board game popular among families at Christmas 20 years ago. But for now i’m going to assume you know what Cluedo is (if you…