Latest Dream

Walsall council tenancy


I was in my room with comedian Lou Sanders. She was offering to teach me about different types of orgasms, but the light was off and I was too busy trying to find a pair of pants. Then the doorbell went and I left her in my room to go and open it. As I…

Latest Story

The Missing L


It was a cold and wet afternoon and the howling winds echoed through the corridors of Ne’ermore Castle. Meanwhile, in Lichfield (where this story takes place) the sun was shining bright and there was not a single cloud in the sky. In one particular garden, a frog was standing, admiring a snow-frog he had just…

Latest Poem

My brother is allergic to nuts


My brother is allergic to nuts They make his face go big It always makes me laugh so much So this is what I did I put cashews in his shoes I put chestnuts on his chest I put pistachios Right up his nose With a slice of lemon zest Well he wasn’t happy at…