Short Poem #1

First she stole a kiss from me, Then she stole my heart. Then she stole my keys, And drove off in my car.

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Spider to the Fly

The spider said to the fly, I simply can’t understand why, They think that i’m scary, just cos i’m hairy, When really i’m such a nice guy. The fly agreed with a sigh, you have the same problem as I, They do nasty things, like pull of my wings, Just to see if I die.…

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Mud on the Floor

She’s a pain in the bum, But then she’s our mum, And that’s what mums are for. When I was young I was told, You can’t do that till your older. Well now i’m older, And I never do what i’m told. And there’s mud on the floor.

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Dirty Poem #1

You’ll have lots of fun, with the girl called Yvonne, Cos really she’s not very fussy. She’s a terrible flirt, who’ll lift up her skirt, And show everybody her stamp collection!   (well, you’ve got to lick it before you stick it in)

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Short Poem #2

Have you ever been, on a putting green, Whilst wearing your mother’s clothes? Miseed the ball, Had an unlucky fall, And the club lodged up your nose.

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Here She Comes

Here she comes. There she goes. Where is she going. Nobody knows. Is she going home, To another. A lover One who will make everything alright. Is she going home to him tonight. Is she going back, From whence she came. Going back to live her life again. Making new mistakes from which she will…

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Pity The Man

Pity the man that stands on the doorstep, Waiting for someone to answer the door that he hasn’t knocked. His feet are cold, His hands are numb, But truth be told, There’s worse to come. Pity the man that sits in his armchair, Not bothering to answer a door that has not been knocked. His…

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