My Top 12 Tweets

I’ve recently been feeling quite nostalgic/bored and so I’ve been browsing through my own Twitter feed to read back some of my tweets. Sad, I know. But be fair, there are some good ones. Quite a few I’d forgotten about and they made me laugh, so I thought what I’d do is share some of the best ones from this time last year until now. Here they are, my top 12 tweets:

  1. The only trouble with being an editor is it means I have to kill orphans and get rid of widows.
  2. Got a call earlier that came up as ‘mom mob’. Answered the phone and heard an angry crowd of women shouting “Get him!”
  3. Found a fun new thing to do in town… Synchronising my walk with the guy in front so it looks like we’re doing a dance routine.
  4. Just got asked “Is it yourself that’s calling?”… What?! No, it’s my cousin, Jim.
  5. Bunch of girls in town with a sign saying ‘Free High 5s’ … Didn’t know we usually have to pay for them.
  6. Today I learnt the difference between ‘collector of obscure things that may one day be useful when I become a mad scientist’ and ‘hoarder’
  7. The fact that I can now lick my fringe means it’s time for a haircut.
  8. It’s not often you see a guy sitting next to a woman who looks like him in drag… Only on the no. 7 bus.
  9. It’s no coincidence that ‘Santander’ is an anagram of ‘Satan Nerd’
  10. You’ve let me down, you’ve let yourself down, you’ve let your hair down.
  11. I liked the dentist until she discovered needles.
  12. We have far too many snails in our garden. I counted at least 1.

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