I enjoy writing stories that are often quite silly and don't always make a lot of sense



I enjoy writing stories that are often quite silly and don't always make a lot of sense

four eyes

Four Eyes

My first work of fiction.

Fred Chuff was born with four eyes. He's spent most of his life as a subject of ridicule, but when he decides to join the circus, he finds his true calling, makes some new friends and discovers a terrible secret about the circus.

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

About a Rockstar


Chad Baker grew up like any other child: badly. His parents were drunks and their parents were even bigger drunks. Nobody in his family had a job, apart from his sister who had a job as a paperweight but she couldn’t hold it down (wahey!). Determined not to turn out like the rest of his…

The Tall Man


The tall man was, as his name suggests, a very tall man. So tall in fact that nobody had ever seen his face. One pilot swore he saw his face once, but as it turned out he had actually flown into Mt. Rushmore. Nobody knew the Tall Man’s real name. They never bothered to ask.…

Waking Up


It was mid afternoon when he woke up. He slowly opened his eyes to greet the sun and sluggishly looked at the clock on the bedside cabinet. 1:00. Next to the clock was small note which read ‘call me’. “That’s odd,” he thought thoughtfully “I don’t remember writing this.” He turned the note over and…

Filbert’s Cat


It was a cold winters morning when Filbert Pennyfeather woke up on 15th August. As he looked around he noticed that everything was as it seemed and nothing looked to be out of place. “Why does nothing interesting ever happen to me?” he asked nobody as he fell out of the window and into the…

Daisy Sleeps


By day she was a cashier at Asda, but by night, she was a cashier at Asda. After a 12 hour shift, Daisy liked nothing more than to come home, have a nice bath, watch a bit of television and go to bed. The only flaw with this routine was that she did not own…

Artificial Alan


Artificial Alan was no more a man than I am an asparagus. And yet all who knew him would treat him as a normal human being. Despite the fact that he could not walk, talk, or do anything that ends in ‘alk’, he managed to fit into society remarkably well. He had friends, enemies, lovers……

Appelina’s Cost Cutting Device


Appelina, like most women, was an avid shopper. She bought everything from clothes to jam. But being such a shopping fanatic meant that very early on in her life she incurred a heavy debt. One which her husband at the time could not stand and he subsequently left her. Heart broken and with a craving…

Angrem’s Duck


There once was a German – or he might have been French I’m not sure – man called Angrem. Every night he would walk the streets of Birmingham looking for ducks to lure into his home. Little did Angrem know that there aren’t many ducks roaming the streets of Birmingham at midnight. But still, his…



At the top of the aforementioned hill stood an old house that had not been disturbed for over 60 years. Though many had stood at the bottom of the hill and gazed curiously at its large wooden door, wondering what lay behind the moss-covered walls, none had dared walk the long and winding pathway to…

If you want to stalk me on social media...

All content © 2019 Ben Coleman