The piano lesson

I was in Sofia, Bulgaria, with Mike and I realised I had my first piano lesson since lockdown. Mike decided we should get a taxi, only I didn’t know the way by taxi. I couldn’t remember the name of the road and after ages of driving around and looking it up on my phone, I…

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Mike’s job interview

Mike went to enquire about getting a job at a mental hospital he’d once been in I went with him He started with small talk with the guy on reception and then said he wanted a job The guy laughed and said he’d need to have a meeting with the bosses We went for the…

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Sutton girls and semtex

I was in Sutton and heading home from the park. I stopped off in a shop to buy some water, chocolate and giant Jammy dodgers. It was a large, open plan shop, dimly lit shop with only one girl working there. She was a polite girl, quite well spoken, with long brown hair. I put…

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Alice and the spiders

In bed Looking at my mattress behind my bed There’s a tag on it that says Alice We had the mattress off someone and the girl who it previously belonged to was called Alice I spotted a spider on the wall I went downstairs and got a dustpan and brush I had a little sister…

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Rastallama

Me, Mike, Lee Mack and Goodwin were going on holiday We had to catch a train A guy working at the station recognised me from last year He took me outside and showed me he’d written my name on a green postbox (which was already covered in names) I took some photos and got Mike…

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Batwoman’s ukuleles

I was in a supermarket looking for a few things The staff were all on blue tops They were playing a big game around the shop where they had to avoid each other It was somehow related to die hard -I knew the last person to survive would be Bruce Willis’ character I teamed up…

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Chris Evans gives bad advice

Mike and I went back to school and we managed to lie our way into an art class. We did a bit of painting until everyone left. Then Mike wanted a birthday present from the class but didn’t want anyone to give him something he didn’t want, so he had a look around and eventually…

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Ozzy’s house

At the start of last night’s dream, I came downstairs into the living room and Mike was sat on the sofa. I asked him if it was shorts weather – I was wearing shorts at the time – and he said “No, but keep them on, cos you look good.” I went upstairs and changed…

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Escape to the food hall

Can’t remember much of last night’s dream. I was at the NEC or some exhibition centre with Mike and some other people. We got off the bus and were walking quickly to avoid a kid catching up to us. I think I’d had a fight with him or something. We went in and found the…

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Donuts are coming

Mike and I agreed to take part in a football thing to raise money for charity. To celebrate, we ordered some Krispy Kreme donuts. While we waited, I put some bread in the toaster and some pizza in the oven. I fell asleep and the toast burnt. Mike woke me up saying “something’s cooking” by…

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