The offensive U

I was in the office at work talking to my boss, Dave, about the singer and comedian Boothby Graffoe (check him out!). Dave said he didn’t think he was that funny anymore and I agreed that his early material was better. Dave told me about an old friend of his, a comedian that he would write material for.

“But he knew another language,” Dave explained, “So I had to learn and write jokes in Portuguese. I wrote one joke about someone putting a giant letter U in their garden. Didn’t go down too well.”

I somehow knew that this was referencing the fact that the Portuguese saw the letter U on its own as offensive. I doubt this is true.

Later, I was taking part in a big talent show and I was quite famous. I went to a party at the NEC and they just let me walk right in without a pass or anything. My karate instructor, Roger, greeted me and took me down the corridor and into a big room where the party was being held. The room was dark with coloured lights lighting it. There were two levels, with a dance floor below us full of people dancing and talking. Roger pointed out two metal columns that had metal sculptures of squirrels on the top. He said that we should meet at the squirrels if there was a fire or anything. He left me there, but it was too noisy for me, so I left.

Finally, I was in an IT class at my old secondary school. I was with a few friends, but we were the ages we are now and just visiting the school to use their facilities it seemed. There was a class going on at the time. When we tried to use the computers, we couldn’t do what we needed. They’d been set up only to do basic things from the lesson, so I used my laptop instead. We had a bit of a chat and a laugh with some of the kids and then said goodbye.

If you want to stalk me on social media...

All content © 2019 Ben Coleman