In the distance, he heard a woman scream. That was his cue. He finished his cup of tea and, leaving the biscuits uneaten, donned his horse and mounted his stetson (may have been the other way round). He rode across to where the cry had come from, and heroically smashed through a glass window to rescue the damsel in distress. “Oh thank goodness you’re here,” Cried the poor woman, “It’s just standing there ferociously looking at me all… Menacing like.”
He hopped off his horse (easier and quicker than dismounting) and said “Never fear, for I am here.” In a rather poetic way. “Now where is the fearsome beast you talk of?” he asked. “In the kitchen.” She replied, and pointed in the general direction of the kitchen.
He drew his sword and courageously bounded into the kitchen, from where he could be heard to shout “Aha! You are a big boy aren’t you. But you’re no match for me… Winston the Worm Wrangler!!!”
From then on came the clanging of metal that sounded like a bloody battle but was in fact Winston clumsily falling into pots and pans. Moments later he came stumbling out, his clothes torn and face bruised. But wielding his sword in the air in victory, he announced “The deed is done! The creature is no more!”
The woman clapped excitedly (in much the same way teenage girls do when they see each other in town) and thanked Winston, who promptly left to find his horse who had ran away during all the fracas. The (still unnamed) woman looked on as Winston the Worm Wrangler ran off into the distance and she said to nobody in particular “What a man. Thank goodness our city has someone like him to protect us.” And then suddenly stopped and said “He broke my bloody window!”
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